Love In A Hopeless Place
by secretfanficlover
Summary: Tonks and Severus become closer during the war and bond over firewhiskey, taking creative liberties with their ages (I don't think the gap is that large).


**This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.**

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Task 12: Yemaya - Write about starting something new. (New Relationship)

**Dedicated to Elizabeth; who sent the crazy bunny stalking me until I had to write it down. **

**Beta: Aya, Elizabeth & Verity**

**Word Count: 1642**

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Yearly:

Scavenger Hunt: Write for a pairing with less than 100 stories written on the database.

273 [Word] Intimate

Prompt 4 [Word] Blabbermouth

Herbology: Mixed Seed: Song: Breathless - The Corrs

Monthly:

Bonnie and Clyde: You Can Do Better Than Him: (character) Severus Snape

Bi-Monthly:

Fortnightly:

Petunia- Tonks

Marimba: Write about two people resonating in some way.

Pop Figurines: Snape: (Colour) Black

Gym: Level 1: Sit Ups - At least 500 words in the genre, Romance. (WC 1625)

Seasonally:

Days of the year: 25th April: East Meets West Day - Write about opposites attracting.

Flowers: Iris - (theme) Hope

Amanda's Challenge: Cole Turner - write a love story.

Star Chart: June 21st - June Solstice: (word) Innocence

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Tonks never imagined she would fall for someone like him. He lacked the charm of the rest of the Order members, he wasn't witty, and although he was smart, he was definitely socially inept.

He was undercover so most of the Order didn't know which side he was really on, but she believed that was what made him such a great spy after all.

He managed to mask his feelings so carefully that he was impossible to read. She noticed small things though, things nobody else saw. There was a smirk that he wore when he thought nobody was looking when all the Order members were talking about a successful raid.

He wore a scowl when they discussed He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, or when someone else they knew disappeared.

He didn't hold back around her, he didn't treat her differently because she was a lady, and the aura surrounding Severus Snape was one that said: "Bad boy, proceed with caution".

Her mother wouldn't be pleased, but she had never cared much for parental authority. She was a woman now, and she was lonely. This wasn't the time or the place or the person to fall in love with, yet it happened.

He was sitting in Grimmauld Place, in the kitchen, the two of them were alone, and as she entered he looked up from his firewhiskey and raised his eyebrows at her. He made no verbal greeting, and she felt her heart start to race. "Can I have a drink?" she asked him nervously.

"Sure, help yourself." He nodded at the bottle.

She poured carefully, her hands shaking with the bottle until he took it from her. "Let me help, this stuff isn't cheap you know," he told her as he poured her a tumbler. "Ice?" he asked. She just nodded.

Tonks wasn't usually nervous, she was confident and cocky and knew what she wanted… but this man, she didn't know what to make of him. She needed to be careful, she wasn't sure if she wanted to come across as the blabbermouth she really is.

"You're one of the few women that can drink this stuff," he said, gesturing to the tumbler he placed in front of her. Tonks then realised something she hadn't before. Severus wasn't treating her differently because she acted like the rest of the Order of The Phoenix members.

"There is more to me than meets the eye," she said, she felt her hair change colour, probably to match her nerves. She took a strand and saw it was fiery red with curls.

"Oh, I know," Severus said before taking a sip, meeting her eyes with his black ones. What colour were her eyes today? She wasn't sure. There it was—the smirk. Was that him smiling at her? She wasn't sure, but it seemed like it.

"You do, do you?" she asked, trying to sound confident. She failed, but after her third sip she felt a lot more at ease; this was a place she had been in before. She was often one to drink with the guys. Soon her fluttering heart fell quiet as they chatted about various things.

"I know you are probably one of the best Aurors we have. I'm surprised you didn't get chosen for the mission," he said, surprising her.

"Thank you, I suppose they didn't want any women there, I mean. . . Molly wasn't chosen either." She shrugged.

"But you're one of the best," Severus said after another sip, "or so they say."

Tonks couldn't help but chuckle. "One of the best?"

"Yeah," he said simply. The two sat in silence for a while, sipping firewhiskey and just enjoying the quiet.

After a few more drinks, Tonks couldn't take it anymore. She needed to know. "Can I ask you something?" she ventured.

"Sure," he said, setting down his tumbler and focusing on her.

"Did you love Lily?" Tonks asked. She needed to know. She couldn't compete with a ghost.

She had never heard him laugh before, but tonight the sound warmed her up more than the tightest hug. Well, she supposed the firewhiskey didn't hurt.

"No, I had a crush on her for a small time a long time ago. But things happen for a reason, she became more like a sister to me," Severus said, surprising her again. Tonks nodded, surprised at being let in like this. "She is the reason I changed sides you know, even though I feel like she could have done much better than James Potter. I still don't want Harry to die, he is all that is left of her in this world." It seemed like these words have been on his mind for ages, and he let him speak his mind for a change.

"I didn't know that, it seems like you hate him," Tonks said softly. It was clear he showed an obvious disdain for the boy.

"I'm a Death Eater, what do you think would happen if he knew there was someone that I care about? It's for the best keeping him at arm's length, and it's easy when he looks so much like his father," Severus explained.

"That sounds so lonely," she said.

"I don't think I've ever been in love really," Severus said after finishing his drink.

"Why do you say that?" Tonks asked curiously.

"I mean, I think you would know if you're in love, wouldn't you?" Severus asked in response.

"Well, yes, I imagine you would know. That doesn't mean it can't still happen though. I have never been in love before either, and look at me now," Tonks said without thinking.

Severus looked at her curiously for a moment. "You're in love with someone? Who?" he said, acting like a teenager wanting to know a secret.

"I can't say," Tonks responded suddenly.

"Oh come on, you only live once and I probably won't remember in the morning," Severus insisted sweetly.

"You will," she said. "Maybe I'll tell you some other time. . ." and with that they said goodnight.

This became a little tradition of sorts, every mission they went on, or were left out off, the same events occurred. They sat and talked, drank, and then finally said goodnight.

Tonks was furious with herself. They were in the middle of a war! Nothing was promised! What would happen if she died and never told him the truth? Or worse, what if she did tell him? Would he be crushed at losing her and be useless to the Order? So she kept going back and forth between telling him and keeping her feelings locked up inside her.

Her innocence had become one of the things preventing her from laying her cards on the table.

Once again the two were sitting in the kitchen with the bottle of firewhiskey.

"Hey Tonks," Severus started with an odd expression on his face. He looked like he had been thinking about something for a while.

"Yeah?" she asked, heart fluttering nervously.

"I read online that what I have identified as demisexual," he said to her seriously.

"Oh! Yeah that totally makes sense for you," Tonks said, smiling.

"You know what that means?" he asked her curiously.

"Of course, that explains the connection with Lily," Tonks said.

"Oh yes, Lily, of course." His smile seemed to disappear at the mention of her name.

"Not that it really matters, I mean, I'm not attractive or charming or anything, who would be interested in me?" Severus said, looking down and taking a swig of his drink.

"You're handsome and smart and great at potions," she blurted without thinking. In for a penny, right? "Stop doubting yourself so much."

Severus put down his tumbler and looked up, meeting her eyes again, like that first night, the night it all started. She was no longer scared.

"You only live once, right?" Severus asked her, but it was clear he meant so much more than that. It wasn't all he was asking. She nodded.

"You never did tell me who you're in love with," Severus said, moving closer till he was almost whispering.

Tonks felt her cheeks turn red. She knew that this was the worst time to fall in love; there was a war happening around them, and they were key pieces of the jigsaw puzzle. Although, there was no doubt in her mind that she loved him, and if he loved her, they had managed to find love in the most hopeless place of all. The setting felt suddenly intimate and his gaze upon her made her feel weak in the knees.

"Isn't it obvious?" she finally said. She could feel his breath laced with firewhiskey and she knew she would never forget it.

"Probably Lupin. I have a feeling you're into that kinda thing," he said, but his black eyes were sparkling with a new emotion, something that she only saw between the two of them.

Before she could shake her head, he leaned in more, and softly brushed his lips against her cheek in the softest of kisses. Then he took her face in his hands, and slowly, ever so slowly, he moved in to claim her lips under his own.

Tonks felt her body turn to jello as she experienced her first ever kiss. When he pulled away, all she could say was, "Wow."

"Uhm, sorry I hope that was okay, I've never kissed anyone before," Severus said, blushing furiously.

Tonks smiled so wide it could have wrapped around her whole head. "That was my first time as well," she admitted.

"So it was me?" Severus asked in awe.

"Yes, Sev, it was you all this time," she answered honestly. He smiled warmly at her, and said, "Well then I don't know about you, but I want to do that again." She stood up from her chair, scooting into his lap, allowing him to claim her lips again.


End file.
